This morning I ran a 5K for "New Balance Women's Health." I was very happy with my time and more importantly how I felt. As I was running I thought to myself, wow, the only thing really bothering me right now are my knees. How lucky am I? I kept focusing on my lungs and thinking to myself how they weren't bothering me at all. Are they just used to exercise and my running? I kept reflecting (yes, still) on February and the flu and how bad things were. As I was running I kept thinking to myself how lucky I am that my lungs recovered the way they did and how much I depend on running to feel this way.
Insert the guilt part...Sometimes I do feel guilty for how I am able to run. Sometimes I feel guilty recording my exercise on this blog and my accoutability group. I fear people are going to look down on me or think negative thoughts. CF is and can be mega b*tch and I know sometimes others aren't able to run or exercise like this. That makes me ache sometimes. But on the flip side it motivates me. I push myself for the others with CF who I consider to be my friends who can't run. I push myself and run that extra mile not just for me, but for us. This is not meant to be a blah post at all, but It's honestly how I feel sometimes.
I push myself to the limit and know I have a different mindset about things. It's just how I am. I reflect and realize that 4 months ago my life flashed before my eyes and that fear pushes me every single day. So here I am running my heart out and pumping those lungs, making them give me all they've got. I do think we make a great trio If I say so myself ;)