And it continues

I decided to stay home from work today. It hit me last night around 9:30 pm. Scott and I were outside on the screened deck enjoying the rain falling. Every muscle in me ached and throbbed. I know I pulled a ton of muscles with all the vomiting I'd done over the last several hours in the ER. I also broke down and just started to cry about everything. I called my boss and she just said for me to take care of myself and do what I needed to do. I agree that I can be too hard on myself, but working makes me feel "normal." I can't stand it when something holds me back from that. But in reality I needed to take a day to relax since my body has been through hell the last few days.

So this morning I called Hopkins to fill them in the events going on. They decided to send me for a follow up Abdominal X-ray today. I had that done around 5pm. I'll get those results back tomorrow. If they aren't as they'd like them to be then it's time for Golytely :/ My fingers are crossed that my intestines decide to behave and we can bypass the Golytely. We shall see. My CF nurse also told me today that she'd like me to have a colonoscopy in the future. I'm not afraid of the colonoscopy since I'm a GI Nurse, it's what I deal with all the time. I just hate that it's even happening. So tomorrow I'm going to talk to the chief GI doc that I work for and have him give me a recommendation. Obviously I'm not going to the guys that I work for, for something like this. They were concerned about the "intussusception of the ascending colon." They said that a lot of pediatric CF patients have this but not adults. It means one of a few things. Either I have scar tissue or adhesions from previous abdominal surgeries, still am obstructed, or have a polyp? Who knows.

I did meet Scott for lunch today which was nice. I'll admit I was terrified to eat, but I was so hungry! I then decided to relax some more on my day off. I love Starbucks so I got a coffee, and I actually sat outside for a while at Starbucks and read my book New Moon. It was very relaxing and something that I felt really good doing.

I'm hoping that July is much nicer and more positive around here. May was awful with the miscarriage and all. That was foremost in my mind during my ER visit unfortunately. Reason #1 was that I was back at the ER again where I just had been for the miscarriage. Reason #2, they put me in the exact same room as I was in for all the miscarriage stuff. How's that even possible I wondered? The ER is huge what were the chances of me being in that same exact room again?
:( So all those painful memories came pouring back yet again....on top of the bowel obstruction. June has now been filled with yet another obstruction in my history book. I want a fresh start. I want to clear my head and have these things simply behind me. I want to move forward....