Thursday, December 10, 2009

When It Rains It Pours...

Things have been really crappy in the CF world recently. I can not believe that we've lost yet another friend to CF. It sucks, sucks bad. It makes me want to take a break from the forums and crawl in a hole for a little bit. But then I feel like I'm handling it the wrong way and turning my back on friends, and someone that may need me, as I need them. Again my way of dealing with these losses is just to push myself harder. I've kicking my own butt at the gym and am very happy with myself. Yesterday I did only the treadmill, and ran for 30 minutes. Woo was a I tired, oh and gross, salty, and sweaty ;) TOTALLY worth it!

Speaking of when it rains it today at work somehow the topic of discussion between 2 of the doctors was miscarriages, awesome! (NOT!) And guess who was accidentally included in this discussion?, ugh, me. I'm been queen emotional today, and this just set me off. I know I know, yes again it has set me off and I hate it. I would have been due in 20 days :( It's not easy to stay positive all the time when it comes to this baby thing, but God knows I try. Sometimes I just can't stop thinking about it. I knew December was going to be hard for me. I've been doing my best to keep it in, think positive, and not let it get the best of me. However, today I was unsuccessful. Oh well, there's always tomorrow.

Today I had to take care of a patient who was blind, deaf, and mentally challenged. I feel like this patient was sent to me to give me some perspective. Despite being kicked and scratched by this poor patient I am grateful for taking care of her today. Things could be worse, and someone always have a worse situation going on. This poor woman broke my heart. She kicked, scratched, and cried.

Please please please let this day get better. I'm so sick of the negativity lately :(


Anonymous said...

You are a constant inspiration to all of us CFers! I wish I could do 4 days in the gym every week- you go with your bad self! ;) I need to get my behind back to working out once I'm over this recent infection.
I know December must be hard for you right now. Please know that we're all here for you and love you!


Jess said...

Aww Allison, I can't thank you enough for such kind words. I'm so grateful for you guys and love you all so much too! xo