Thursday, June 10, 2010

Anxiety and Decisions

My boss ahem "resigned" 2 weeks ago and I was offered the job as Nurse Manager of our center. The chief of the practice, and the practice administrator came to be privately and offered me the job that same day. I accepted. Now I'm not sure If I'm all.

For the past 6.5 years I have loved my job, and truly enjoyed going to work each day. I loved my job in all aspects, and felt like what I did mattered. Taking care of my patients made my day.

Now it appears that I will be doing mostly administrative stuff, and so far I feel like a "paper-pusher." My patient care time with be almost non existant, as I will be in charge, and have a Nurse that already has filled my position as a floor nurse. I'm scared.

I know that I have to be fair and give this job a chance. But what if I hate it? What If I made a huge mistake? I think I would feel like a failure to tell them I'm unhappy and want my old job back. Granted I didn't apply for this, I did it because they asked me to. I know I can do it, and keep telling myself If my old boss could do it, anyone can!

I just don't like bringing work home with me. I don't like worrying if I did everything right. I'm unsure of myself right now and don't like that feeling. I'm anxious as of recently, and have had significant knots in my stomach. I'm trying so hard to think positively, but it's hard without a million thoughts going through my head. I have to travel (a tiny bit, but still) for this job too. I don't think @ 30 years old I want to be done taking care of patients :( And I certainly don't want the stress level to affect my health.

I'm so unsure of myself right now...


Josh said...

I remember that feeling. I had a similar experience at a job where I was asked to take on more responsibility than I was originally expected to when I took the position. I agreed to it, but regretted the decision instantly. My job became less about the people and more about the paper.

My honest advice to you is to do exactly what you are doing. Give this job a legitimate shot and if it doesn't work out, tell them that you feel like your original position was a better fit for you. I'm sure they would understand and make the proper adjustments for you.

It's really important to be happy and have minimal stress at your job. It can affect your health long term. It did for me.

I'm sending you all my positive energy and wishing you peaceful things, Jess. Everything will work out.

Jess said...

Josh I can't thank you enough for your kind advice. I really appreciate it :)