Swimming

Taken at our neighborhood beach at sunset

The air quality remains pretty awful here today still. So instead of running or doing something crazy active outside, we decided to take advantage of our beach. We packed a cooler, and went down late in the afternoon and got a good hours worth of swimming in. It felt good, and I worked the lungs pretty hard. I'm still annoyed with the tightness in my chest. It's better since stopping Tobi, but I'm inpatient I guess and want to feel 100% better now.

I got my Cayston a little early, and started that today too. I'm hoping to see a difference that I'm comfortable with before I travel for work Tuesday night. Part of me is wondering if the tightness in my chest could also be from anxiety?

I'm the first to admit, that I've been a ball of nerves here lately. I love to travel, just haven't done it alone and I'm going to miss Scott, and the pups like crazy!!! I've never flown alone etc, and I think I'm just afraid of being out of my comfort zone.

Here's to some happy breathing and decreased tightness :)

Anxiety and Decisions

My boss ahem "resigned" 2 weeks ago and I was offered the job as Nurse Manager of our center. The chief of the practice, and the practice administrator came to be privately and offered me the job that same day. I accepted. Now I'm not sure If I'm happy...at all.

For the past 6.5 years I have loved my job, and truly enjoyed going to work each day. I loved my job in all aspects, and felt like what I did mattered. Taking care of my patients made my day.

Now it appears that I will be doing mostly administrative stuff, and so far I feel like a "paper-pusher." My patient care time with be almost non existant, as I will be in charge, and have a Nurse that already has filled my position as a floor nurse. I'm scared.

I know that I have to be fair and give this job a chance. But what if I hate it? What If I made a huge mistake? I think I would feel like a failure to tell them I'm unhappy and want my old job back. Granted I didn't apply for this, I did it because they asked me to. I know I can do it, and keep telling myself If my old boss could do it, anyone can!

I just don't like bringing work home with me. I don't like worrying if I did everything right. I'm unsure of myself right now and don't like that feeling. I'm anxious as of recently, and have had significant knots in my stomach. I'm trying so hard to think positively, but it's hard without a million thoughts going through my head. I have to travel (a tiny bit, but still) for this job too. I don't think @ 30 years old I want to be done taking care of patients :( And I certainly don't want the stress level to affect my health.

I'm so unsure of myself right now...