Waterless

Well today was a great day! (mostly) The weather was a crisp low 70's and just beautiful!! It felt like fall so much today!! The girls and I went running after work and it was a great run. We kicked it up a notch on our running plan and it felt great. My legs already feel the increase, and my breathing felt amazing! :)

However this evening we are waterless. We just had our water treatment fixed and this evening it failed again. I was cleaning up dinner and rinsing off some dishes and bam, zero in the water department. We ran downstairs and luckily Scott is handy and knew what to do for the most part. Shortly there after we called our water guy and he was here literally in 2 minutes which is awesome. Bummer is we still have no water :( The guys are here now fixing it. Hopefully it's fixed tonight or I'll be dunking my head in the water at work tomorrow prior to patients arrival for a sink shower. Yikes...tonight though means no bathroom, no nothing. Luckily my parents live 2 miles down the road ;)

My weekend

It was great. Friday night we simply vegged out and watched TV. Strangely enough this was very exciting because I'm not a TV watcher really ever. So it was nice to relax in front of the TV and turn my brain off for a while. I'm definitely hoping work isn't as crazy this week and I'm not so exhausted come Friday.

Saturday was great. We had my best friend and her boyfriend over for a "End of the Summer" crab feast. I'm pretty sure they were some of the best crabs I've had all summer. Infact I'm about to finish them off for dinner too :) I'm always super careful when eating crabs now, because all that protein has thrown me into bowel obstructions in the past few years. So it's hydrate hydrate hydrate and all is well (knock on wood) :) We had a great time eating crabs, enjoying drinks, music, and just hanging out. We also made a list of fun things to do with the fall coming up, like haunted hayrides etc. So excited!

Today was a busy work day for us. We started the day off getting coffees and going to Target to get some shopping done. I even bought Scott 2 Christmas presents. A cool Transformers T-shirt, and a Marvel T-shirt. :) Afterwards we came home to chores. I had 2 weeks of laundry to do since last week we couldn't wash clothes since we had our water treatment system replaced. Then I'm proud to announce we FINISHED BUILDING OUR DECK!!!! Woo Hoo!! It was a lot of work today and it was hands on rough work and kicked my butt! Plus I decided to do a 20 minute bike ride, about 3 miles on top of that. So I'm pretty tired tonight.

I also wanted to give Scott a shout out for going back to college again. He already has a degree in computers, but he's going back to pursue a degree in Network Management. I'm so proud of him and all of his hard work and discipline!!! Here's to a great semester Mr. Smarty Pants! :)

Here's to the start of a good week. The work crew and I are now running Monday's, Wednesday's and Friday's. I'm so proud of everyones effort and motivation!! Happy week everyone!

Darn You Danny

Hurricane Danny that is.

Hurricane or now Tropical Storm Danny is giving us Marylanders plenty of rain today and this weekend. I love the rain, and quite honestly I welcome it. Especially after a long exhausting over-time induced week of work. I'll take a night of relaxing and vegging out listening to the rain.

However my new friend Danny's weather pattern has decided to wreak havoc on my knees. Who knew at age 29 I could "feel" the weather in my knees. Huh. I'm happy to say that the girls at work have been joining me in my running. I did 2 miles on Wednesday and 1 mile today. No sooner that we started running today (in the misty rain) my knees were killing me. There's no way I could push it past a mile. I'm still happy with the results and felt happy afterwards for my workout. My knees just aren't too pleased right now. So I think I'll enjoy the rain this weekend, and give my knees a rest....until Sunday anyway :)

Unbelievably Touching

I went to visit my Grandmother after work today. She lives an hour away so It's not always easy to just stop by. We had a wonderful visit and I honestly wish I could have stayed longer. While we were at dinner tonight we did a lot of talking as usual. We mostly talk about my Pop whom we miss terribly. Then we started to talk about my CF when I was a baby.

My Grandmother told me that when her mother was extremely ill and on the verge of passing away I was just being diagnosed with CF and was very sick still at the age of 5 months. My future unclear and life expectancy not to reach 14 years old. And when my mother asked it I was going to die, the nurse replied to her "Not Today!" All of this I've known and we've talked about before. However Granny told me tonight that when my Great Grandmother passed away my Granny wrote her a letter and put it in her sleeve at her funeral "to go to Heaven with her." The note was asking her to please watch over me and to take care of me, and keep me healthy due to my having CF. I felt so overwhelmingly touched that I was completely speechless. At the age of 29 and a half I've never known this story, about this letter.

I just wanted to share such a touching story that I learned of tonight. And thank those that are watching over us....

Motivation

Things are better since my last post. And an absolute huge thank you to all of you for your support. Sometimes I just have those days, and I know there will be more to come, and that's ok. I am so fortunate to have such great Friends, Family, and my wonderful network of CF friends. So thank you to you all.

I've been running on my regular schedule again and feeling great about it. One of my coworkers today was talking about running and I heard my named dropped that I was "A Runner" talk about a cool feeling! Anyway apparently some of my coworkers want to start running with me after work, starting on Wednesday :) I'm so happy that I've been able to motivate others to start running with me. Plus having others to run with will only push me further which I love the idea of!

Ran a mile this afternoon after work and it was tough today. The humidity is awful, so I'm thinking maybe it wasn't the brightest idea, but It's something I have to do, and when I get a goal in my head, that's it. So despite the humidity and having to stop a few times I did great and even ran further than my mile.

Had to go to the doctors today to take care of some stuff. For one, I have a lovely UTI. No fun, but things could be worse so no biggie. And I got my referral for my.......colonoscopy, woo hoo. I have to have one now, since I've had 2 episodes of intussusception in the last year and bowel obstructions. One of those perks of CF, ha ha. So this week I'll be calling a Gastroenterologist. I work for Gastroenterologists as a GI nurse, but I don't want my docs knowing me that personally ;)

Bad Baby Day....not myself at all

This is not my usual type of blogging activity. I've mentioned the misacarriage before etc, but I generally try to leave that part of my life out of my daily (or close to) blogging. Reason is, I suppose I'm afraid of sounding bad, whiney, or negative, which isn't me. Eventhough it is what it is, I just don't like to really blog about it. But today I just need to get some things off of my chest that have been going on for a bit.

Today my heart hurts and it's hurting more than usual. It's been going on since last week. Truth be told these "episodes" we'll call them happen to me in spurts and then I'm fine for a while. Last week one of the doctors I work with (the only female, if we can even call her that) insisted on telling me about how everyone is getting pregnant but me. It took all that I had to stand tall, not let my gut feel the invisible punch it just took, and to hold back those salty tears that wanted to stream down my face. However I did it, I stood there like an emotionless cement wall and let her go on and on. I took it like a champ too, composing myself and keeping my professionalism at it's best. I don't want to let people like her get to me, considering they have zero in the couth department. I then crumbled and had to go into the bathroom and just let the tears fly. Quickly composing myself while the Ozzy Osbourne song "No More Tears" replayed in my head. I needed to get myself together fast. I mean who really wants a nurse that looks like Alice Cooper anyway?

Last weekend it hit me again. Out of no where I just have these non stop tears flowing down my face in which I have no control over at all. It was awful and I felt like impending doom was taking over me. I absolutely hate it when this happens and there truly is no way to deal with it, strickly the passage of time is the only way. I just don't know how else to explain the darkness that sometimes decides to descend up on me dealing with this loss.

I try not to take personal things into work, including the miscarriage. Sometimes patients ask me if I have kids yet, and that's fine. I don't what's the big deal, right? I will share my story with patients few and far between, and when I do, it's usually a very spiritual thing with the support they offer, sort of uplifting in a way. The women I share my story with are those that have been there and know exactly what it's like. That's one of the problems is not a lot of people understand this feeling. I have the most amazing husband, friends, and family on this earth. Difficult thing is, even my mother whom I tell everything doesn't even know how this feels and I know it hurts her to see me like this.

What set me off today was that I was made aware that 2 different people who have what would have been my exact due date in December find out what they were having today. I hadn't really thought about this aspect of it honestly. I hadn't thought about how I'd be showing by now, or how I would probably not feel the nausea anymore, or how I too could know the sex of my own baby (even though we wouldn't find out, I had a feeling of a boy) I never thought back to, gee I'd be 5 months next week. Hearing about them, and having to think about this aspect cut me pretty deep today. I don't want to harp on these feelings, I just want to feel better about everything. I don't want to be sad about this anymore, but I just don't know how not to. I don't like having these eyes that well up on certain days at the thought of this giant void I have in my heart. I don't want people to think that I'm not happy for them or their babies because I am. I'm just sad too. I think I beat myself up too much by not letting myself be sad about it. I don't like to be down nor negative, it's just not me. But maybe I just need to let myself have these days when I need to....

I will continue to work hard and do those things that keep me healthy. Healthy enough to be cleared by the CF docs who tell me to "Go for it!" I will remind myself that this happened once and it WILL happen again. I will continue to exercise and be at my optimum and push myself to the limits. I will think positive and use "The Secret" and believe in my heart and have faith that in time this too will happen again....

Tuesday Ten

Ten Things about My Day Today....

1. I actually stopped on the way to work today and got a giant 24 oz. coffee @ 0530, yum.

2. I had some of the most difficult IV sticks in the 7 years I've been a nurse today. To the point that I actually put an IV in a patients knuckle. I'm seriously debating going into IV therapy Nursing....

3. Came home from work and did a kick-butt 25 minute workout on the Eliptical that is now FIXED!!!

4. Enjoyed some good Thunderstorms in the area.

5. Ate a GIANT bowl of Captain Crunch with Crunch Berries for dinner (nutritious right?) ;)

6. Listened to a lot of Depeche Mode and Twilight (The Score) on iTUNES.

7. Kept re-reading a card my friends 3 year old daughter made for me yesterday, telling me how much she liked me.....seriously enough to just melt my heart.

8. Got a catalog containing HALLOWEEN SCRUBS! Wow can't believe Fall is around the corner, LOVE IT!

9. May have inspired some of my co-workers to start running with me after work. Actually mapped out how many laps around our complex would be a mile run.

10. And now I'm headed to a funeral for a co-worker at our satelite office. Suddenly while at her desk last week, she became unresponsive, had a stroke, and died. So sad. A clear reminder that we truly never know what can happen and to cherish each day given to us, no matter how stressful things may be at times. Off to pay my respects and be thankful for my own life and opportunities.....

Nostalgia

Had a great Sunday. My best friend and I decided today to utilize my community beach, so we did just that. Packed a cooler, took a book, beach towels, and just hung out at the beach all day. It was wonderful to say the least. It took me back to Myrtle Beach again. We also got some good swimming in too, all in all a great day. I'm grateful to have such a wonderful beach literally around the corner in our community.

After the beach I spontaneously decided that I was going to run at my old High School track. It's been 11 years since I ran on that track. Hard to believe but true. It was strange, but at the same time felt great. It reminded me of being in high school again. Around this time of year is when fall sports tryouts are going on, and the memories just came running back to me. The days of where I played Volleyball, Tennis, and Ran Track. Wow, I can't believe it's been 11 years already. Unreal. The greatest part of it all was that I was determined to run this mile without stopping at all! I didn't even want to stop for a few seconds if possible. I DID IT!!!!!!!!!!! It's 4 laps around the track for a mile. On the 3rd lap I could feel myself wanting to stop just for a nano-second, but no way my mind took over and talked me out of it. I kept telling myself to keep pushing it and how proud of myself I'd be. Granted I'd be proud either way whether I'd stopped or not, but I know I could do it so I was just happy that I did.

So that was my Sunday. I pushed myself to a good limit today and I feel great about it. Tomorrow is break from running day, then Tuesday it's a mile again...or maybe more.

We Were Picked

We had an AWESOME time at the Ravens game!!!! We tailgated for a couple of hours, then headed in to watch the Ravens win against the Redskins 23-0! Woo Hoo! Yes, I know, it's just Pre-Season but it was great. While we were tailgating, the tailgating/event photographer (who knew there was one) chose us for a fan photo! Fun stuff! So I'm pretty sure the night couldn't have gotten anybetter. We're actually on the Ravens website, how cool is that!? Well......cool if you're a Raven's fan anyway ;)

Before the big game, was quite a busy day. I had a huge full work day with lots of patients. I managed to get all the patients done and leave on time. I wanted to make sure I got my run in before we left. I did just under a mile in 9.5 minutes. Then lifted weights when I got done the run. Boy do my legs feel it today. Oh and my voice too....there was A LOT of cheering last night!! Happy Friday everyone!

RAVENS FEVER!!!

It's so close to Football season!! Ahh can't you just feel it!!!?? I'm so excited too! That not only mean it's time for my favorite sport, but it's almost Fall, my absolute favorite time of year!! Tomorrow night we are going to the first pre-season game Ravens vs. Redskins! Woo Hoo!!!! I'm like a little kid, so excited to tailgate, then be a Raven's Maniac! I'm sure I'll have barely a voice on Friday after the game. My lungs sure do get a great workout with Football season!

Creative Running

The Eliptical is still non functional and the humidity continued today. The weather should be a little better tomorrow though. I still wanted to run today, but not outside obviously. So I decided to put on an Episode of Scrubs and jog during the episode. Fast forwarded through the commercials (Thanks Tivo) and jogged another 20 minutes. Not sure if it was because I was jogging in place on the floor as opposed to asphault, but man do my legs hurt. Ahh feel the burn :) This humidity won't stop me!

On a side note...I've been wanting to try out doing my morning nebs in the car. So today I did just that. That's right, I took the eFLOW and my Colistin and by the time I got to work, done! How awesome!!! :)

"You're kidding me right?"

Ok so I find myself saying this phrase lately with a few situations going on right now in my life. Anyway.....I'm choosing to write about how this phrase ties in to only one of them.... So here in Maryland it's been blazing hot. So hot, and indeed the kind of hot, that you're advised not to go outside unless absolutely necessary. Definitely not a good day for respiratory people for sure. So my plan for today was to run, however since It's so bad outside I know how bad that would be. Infact I'm sure it would do much more harm than good. So I decide that I'll come home and do my workout on the Eliptical.

However....(Insert "You're kidding me right?" here) I go downstairs and remember that the Eliptical is broken as of Saturday. During our clean up work from Hooper being sick, Scott accidentally ripped out the power cord on it, and he is in the process of taking it apart to be fixed. Thing is Scott isn't home tonight, so there is no hope of it being fixed tonight for that matter. So I decided to lift weights tonight instead. Although I'm disappointed I didn't get the cardio in, I'm happy to have done a great lift routine. I'm sure I'll feel it tomorrow! :)

I'm hoping that this "code Red" heat advisory goes away soon. Or at least we can get the Eliptical fixed without it looking like an electronic nightmare in the basement ;)

Back in the Game

We had a great Sunday. Started off with our friends coming over and we went kayaking at our community beach, awesome! Then my brother in law calls and says he'd like to put his boat in the water. We have a boat slip and ramp with no boat so we pretty much let anyone who needs to use it do just that. Someone may as well get to, right!? :) So we went out on the boat with him for a few hours too. Got home made dinner, stuffed peppers, and they were great. I find it so therapeutic to cook, but recently I just haven't done enough of it. So that made me very happy. While the peppers cooked, I......drum roll please...........FINALLY GOT TO GO RUNNING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WOO HOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I was on cloud 9!! I finally got to get out there and get back in the game, and break out the new running shoes! Of course I did choose the record breaking heat/humidity day in Maryland to have my first post foot sprain run. But that didn't stop me at all. I ran for 15 minutes and felt amazing! I wasn't super winded, just mainly dripping with sweat, so I kept it to just 15 minutes today. I am so grateful that my foot is better, I feel good overall, and I'm able to be back in the game! Plus I've had tons on my mind lately, and I missed that lovely endorphin rush from a good workout :)

Positive Thoughts.......

Sick Puppy

Poor Hooper, my 7 year old Greyhound has not been feeling too great this weekend. And for you dog people out there, or people who's dogs are your kids, know how scary it is. It all started Friday afternoon. Scott got home from work first and called me and sounded worried. He said that one of the dogs had had accidents all over our basement. Mind you in all the 11 years of having dogs together, this has never happened. My heart sank. It was so bad that on my way home from work, I had to stop to rent a steam cleaner. He seemed ok, that night just had loose stools, but was acting normal for the most part.

Then Saturday morniny my "mother ears" were in full effect and I knew something was wrong. Hooper has always slept wrapped up in a blanket since the moment we got him at 8 weeks of age. He literally walks over to his comforter, uses his head to pick up a piece, then goes in and wraps himself completely in it. So at 4 am I heard him licking, and I knew he should be sleeping. I pull the covers back (he sleeps on the floor next to my side) and he is covered in dog food that he had vomited up :( Poor baby, I felt AWFUL!! So at 4 am Scott gave him a bath, and I put the steam cleaner to use again to clean up the aftermath. The rest of the night, well morning actually, he did ok.

He's eating, he's drinking, he's being his normal playful silly self. However I can't help but be worried sick about him. He hasn't gotten into anything different that I can tell, and trust me we've been maniacs trying to figure it out. The only thing we've come close to is our water. When we got home from MB last Saturday we noticed that our water system was acting up. We are on a well, so we have an osmosis/water treatment system. Well Scott figured out that our salt tank wasn't working properly. He's been working on fixing that all weekend long too. You can smell the iron in the water too. So we have a Brita filter, but we never even thought that the dogs water is coming from that system too :( I feel horrible if that's it. So needless to say we immediately went out yesterday and got gallons of Spring water that is just for their water.

So far today so good. He still has the lower GI issues, but again is his happy self. I hope this resolves and it was just the water, which is now fixed for them. Despite not being a "real" mom, man I can barely take one of them not feeling well.

Today we are off to go Kayaking at our beach. Then it's running time again for me. I'm hoping to do my mile again. We shall see....

Nothing Too Exciting

It's been an extremely busy week work wise. I've been working very long hours since I'm in charge all week. It's definitely making me exhausted. My days are basically work, nap, dinner (which recently is a bowl of cereal) since I'm so tired, then back to bed again. What an exciting week huh?

I got my new running shoes in the mail this week. I'm SO EXCITED! For one, I got to ditch the ortho shoe. Two, I haven't been able to find the shoe I was looking for until I found them on Zappos.com, awesome. And Three, It's back to full force running again. I hope I didn't lose too much while having the bum foot and not being allowed to run. Oh well, even If I did, I am determined to get it back very soon and then push my goals even further!

Myrtle Beach and Baptism

We had a FANTASTIC vacation!!! I'm sad that it's already over with to be honest, but so thankful that we were able to have such a great time! It's been about 4 years since we've been to Myrtle Beach. Prior to that I've gone every year since I was about 5. It holds so many precious memories, and a very special place in my heart. Needless to say it was wonderful to go back. We stay at the same place, and love it. We have 2 huge ocean front balconies and it's just lovely. The weather was awesome. If I wrote every detail, I think I'd end up writing a novel instead of a blog post ;) We enjoyed endless days at the pool, and on the beach, including boogie-boarding everyday. It was awesome. Went to some awesome restaurants and bars too. Spent much time just relaxing and not having a care in the world which was much needed. I got tons of exercise too thanks to the pool. I took advantage of it, by swiming laps, seeing how long I could hold my breath, etc. What a workout and it felt great! Plus playing in the ocean for hours on end, was a heck of a lot better than hypertonic saline anyday ;) My foot is 100% better too, so the shoe is gone!!! I never ended up needed the Levaquin either, yay for it just being sinus stuff but no infection :) So overall we had one of the absolute best vacations we've had in a long time! Tomorrow is back to reality. I'm pretty sure I prefer waking up to the sound of waves crashing, than to my alarm clock...

Today was a big day for us too. We've literally hit the ground running after arriving home from the beach yesterday. Today I became Godmother to Ally :) It was a great ceremony and of course I'm on cloud 9 being her Godmother. She did a great job, no crying just looking around and taking it all in. So cute!

Well it's back to the grind now. I'm definitely looking forward to a good nite of sleep for sure! Getting up for work at 0430 is going to be strange tomorrow. Hope everyone has had a great week!